Gut check #014 written by GP on 12/9/20.
Sources of pride
Getting my first salary position and moving out of my parents house at 26… and during a pandemic. It was such a scary time. It made everything feel 100x riskier. I know for some that’s too old or not a big deal. However, I’m a first generation American coming from a Caribbean household where women don’t move until they’re married. And although my family is super supportive for the most part, it still came with a lot of criticism and doubt. Nothing about these accomplishments are perfect but the fact that I did it really opened me up to hope in a year where that’s really hard to find.
Sources of anxiety
Whew! Where to begin. My biggest source of anxiety is feeling like I’m too old to start the career I really want. I have no experience in Tv/ Film and Entertainment but I know that’s where I want to be. I never thought of myself as a creative and so I’m battling those thoughts as I take 2 premiere courses online on a brand new MacBook Pro. I put all of this on my credit card too btw and every month I freak out trying to pay off more than the minimum on my balances. Every one says it’s an investment but I’m frightened it won’t work out, that I just won’t be talented enough, my resume not robust enough to land me a position that will get my foot in the industry. This is all playing out in the background as I adjust to having a roommate with.. um.. different habits from me, learning to pay and negotiate bills with my name and credit attached and trying to maintain my social life. I know things will workout as far as the living situation is concerned because A) it’s my first time, an experiment if you will. B) I’m working hard to start my career and get a better salary so I can afford to live on my own once the lease is up C) Even if I can’t afford my own place I’ll be looking elsewhere to find a roommate that’s a better fit and Z) If all else fails I’m taking my broke ass home!
Bold future dreams
My future dreams~ ooooo! The dreaming is the best part.
Leave my day job in sales at a tech company. Start my dream role in TV/ Film/ Entertainment with a starting salary of at least 60k. Ideally, I’d be transitioning into this between Jan – March 2021.
Save up, and if COVID restrictions allow possibly travel during Summer 2021.
Find my own place, celebrate my birthday (really this year) ~Oct 2021.
I hope by this time next year I’ll have a credit or two on a creative project, film or tv show.
I see myself gaining momentum and commitment in my career.
And once that picks up, I’ll start moving the needle in other aspects: moving in with my boyfriend once I have the experience and knowledge of living on my own, traveling internationally more, making babies <3, getting a home for my parents or a condo in Mt Vernon at the bare minimum.